Sunday, December 17, 2017

Healing. Receiving. Opening.

     A lady bug came to visit this morning. I watched as she intently made her way across the window screen above my desk. How apropos I thought as I sat to write and share about my continuing exploration of the "Sufi Book of Life, 99 Pathways of the Heart" By Neil Douglas-Klotz through the pages of my art journal. The symbolism of this tiny beetle couldn't be timelier; She speaks of a time to work on fulfilling your dreams; of letting things flow naturally; of leaving your worries behind you and to not be scared of living your truth; on being spiritually and mentally inquisitive; of opening to rebirth and joy. Thank you little one. I hear you. Yet another "sign" today...

     I love these moments when you have a sudden realization that your life is being mirrored back to you by nature and through art expression. It reminds me to be attentive; to sit in wonder of the connectedness of life and of the beauty in every moment; of the importance of being aware that there is a continuous conversation going on all around me if I will only pay attention and listen.

     With the addition of these three new journal pages I will have explored my heart and spirituality through the first 19 Pathways of the "Sufi Book of Life" this year.  It struck me that these last three pages reflect exactly what I have been experiencing and preparing for in this moment. "Flowing Blessings." "Sustenance." "Opening to Unity's Breath". Healing. Receiving. Opening. I am grateful.

     Nearly a year has passed since I began this project. My life is now in major transition so it is only natural and healthy to spend a period of time in reflection. It is time to take stock, honor the journey, and be open to what I have learned. My boat needs to float before the rowing begins again, which brings us aptly to the pathway, Al-Wahhab, Flowing Blessings.

Pathway 16, Flowing Blessings.

     Pathway 16, Flowing Blessings. This path invites you to enter the Divine Flow of blessings in your life. Flow with it, don't try to paddle, don't fight against the current, just float. Allow it to carry you and trust that it will take  you where you need to go. It's all about trust and relinquishing the egos tight grasp that believes it knows better. Looking on Sacred Unity as a river of love that carries us, we gradually learn to not throw stones that will disturb that flow. Living a spiritual life is about creating a relationship with the Sacred based on love and trust. As the author says it is a friendship that grows slowly or one that he likens to "a fire that is kindled slowly from tinder."

     In my collage I wanted to capture the feeling of movement. One side of the page is a fast moving river in winter, steam hangs over the water, white water is churned up over hidden rocks but the flow continues. And rivers run to the sea so on the other side is a calm ocean with an island, it's craggy spires reaching towards the sun.
I bordered and divided the two halves with gold coin, symbolizing the richness of blessings found in the give and take of this special relationship. Boats filled with brightly colored flowers and food flow from the river to the ocean representing abundance. The radiating flower at the top stands for Unity and connection. Love spelled out in water droplets connects the whole. Trust that the river will never run dry. Right now in my own life I am flowing on a river of blessings as a new tributary has opened up and I don't know where it will take me but I know that I must trust and go. I am grateful. Al-Wahhab, I bathe in a waterfall of blessings. I celebrate all the varied ways of Being.

Pathway 17 Sustenance. 

     Pathway 17, Sustenance, asks you to consider your relationship with how you give and how you receive on all levels. What feeds my soul, mind and body? What are my gifts and how do I share them? Am I being receptive and mindful of the many blessings in my life and am I connecting with the life energy of all that I am consuming? When is enough, enough?

     Every image on this page nurtures me deeply. Mono Lake is one of those places that I have experienced a deep emotional connection. High in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California this remnant of a vast inland sea lies silently in-waiting. Tufa towers rise like spires of fairy like castles
From her waters and on still days you can't tell where the sky ends and the water begins as the clouds are so perfectly reflected in her surface. I always feel connected here, energized, my whole Being filled.

     A bowl of soup, is there anything more nourishing and comforting? Filled with vegetables and steaming broth it warms your body as well as your heart. I think it is also the perfect example of a food that we can share with others especially when it is made with love.  The secret to good soup is in the layering  of flavor, the "trinity" my Mom used to say (and she was known as the soup maker) celery, onion and carrot.
They always went into the pot first to sweat, to mingle, to caramelize a little or a lot depending on the recipe. The making of soup is also a practical and mindful way to use up leftovers, those bits and pieces that may end up being thrown away. When we are not aware we waste precious resources. This can be said of many things in our lives...time, relationships, money and energy.

     The accompanying sound to meditate upon for this pathway is Ar-Razzaq. The root word Ra shows us a raying forth of energy and Zaq shows us the "conscious container created to hold this power". That being said I added a plate of food rising like a sun over the water.  I added a spoon, another container of sorts and a vehicle with which to share. It hovers over the soup bowl.  The spoon is filled with a vibrant spice suggesting that sharing adds depth and flavor to life. We have a responsibility to share and it is becoming more and more evident that for the consciousness of the people upon this planet to change we must lead with love, with giving and with care taking. There is more than enough for all if we will only share. By feeding others we in turn feed ourselves and it is within this balance that we honor both giving and receiving.

     Which leads us to "Opening to Unity's Breath"pathway 18, Al-Fattah. For me this could not be more on target. I have just recently moved to another state. I have said goodbye to family and friends, a place that I really did enjoy living, and a wonderfully supportive spiritual community because I heard this call to do something completely different. It was taking a leap of faith. It wasn't easy, it was emotional, it was painful but as the author says in his book, "what is there to be afraid of?" He asks us to not fear the opening, to instead find they key that unlocks the door to your purpose in life.

Opening to Unity's Breath, pathway 18.
     In the foreground of this page there is a precipice, a rock ledge. Some distance from the edge a beautiful blue door with flowers  at it's threshold hovers in the air. What does it promise? A Goddess symbolizing the Divine Feminine spirit, a halo of light in her hair, breathes outward, opened. In Her breath feathers swirl and encircle a key that will unlock the door. It will take a leap of faith to reach that door. It requires both courage and trust. Are you able to let go of who you think you are? Are you willing to become, to open to something more? Again we return to how we give and how we receive; how we breathe in and how we exhale; one door closes and another door opens. Feel the Divine breath moving through you, guiding you, supporting you but know it is ultimately your choice, but why not, what do you have to lose? Isn't it far worse to stagnate, to have regrets. Take the leap...

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Crowning Glories

Lydia. Found in NV.
     I have a weakness for antique photograph's of women, especially for unique and different ones. "Lydia" was the only information written on this striking photo. I love her strength, her intensity. No shrinking violet this woman. She wears this hat with confidence. A natural beauty.

Elegant woman.
     This photo had no name nor even a photographer's logo or city as some do.
This is an elegant woman in an amazing hat
which I would tentatively date to the 1890's to turn of the century. Her chapeau is complete with adornments, velvet and feather plumes. A lovely embossed leather clutch bag as well.

Postcard photo of lady.

     This photograph is a postcard which dates it after 1907 when Kodak made postcard backing available. This new concept made taking affordable photo's more accessible to rural America as keepsakes to share. On the back of this one, never mailed, written in pencil, it says, "from Mother to Huldiu. Was glad to hear from you once again." A day in town or perhaps on a holiday, purse in hand. Ever so slight smile on her lips. Her hat looks as solid and practical as she is.

Modern 1917 woman.

     This striking young woman was in-fashion as she posed for a profile shot of her wide-brimmed, floral embellished, sheer haloed hat in 1917. This  closer fitting
Hat did not need a hat pin and was easier to wear. This too is a postcard but has no message, name or city.

Mother & daughter.
     No they are not wearing hats but you must agree these are impressive, matching hair styles. Truly "Crowning glories"! I just had to share them in this post. No names, city and the photographers mark is too faint to read. Now that is some "big hair"!


Thursday, September 7, 2017

Beauty in the Light

"My Sea, My Sister, My Tears by Ntombephi “Induna” Ntobela.

I recently had the opportunity to see the exhibit Ubuhle Women-Beadwork and the Art of Independence, at Dayton Art Institute in Dayton, Ohio. To say that their beadwork is dazzling, exquisite, or beautiful is an understatement. Words don't do it justice, nor do my pictures do these pieces their just do, but I had to share because I made a connection with them. Something spoke to me on an energetic level, definitely an emotional one, perhaps even a cellular level. 

The Ubuhle artists community was begun in 1999 as a way to empower women living and working together in rural KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. Working with traditional skills they produced a new beading style on  a black cloth called ndwango. Many of the women are single mothers and their art goes to help support their families. The name Ubuhle means "beauty" but specifically the "shimmering quality of light in glass" which also has special "spiritual significance." As someone who also has had a long love affair with the way light reflects through glass ( a childhood memory, see my earlier blog post "It Takes a Village) I totally understand. There is a quality of light that I find meditative, and these brightly colored, swirling designs of tiny glass beads mesmerized me this day.

The playful colors, the textures and patterns, the memories interwoven through out, like this one "My Mother's Peach Tree, speak of the simple joy of life and living. It is exuberant, it is hopeful. What strikes me is that women, even dealing with extreme poverty and illness still see and feel the beauty of life and nature and are desirous to create and share that beauty forward with others. Women always strive to make things beautiful for their loved ones. 

Each woman in the community works in her own style and an average panel can take up to 10 months to complete.

There are a number of beaded works of Bulls and it was explained that each woman spent time with that animal, getting to know it and taking pictures of it so that over the many months of beading work they would be able to remember its characteristics.

As I walked through the first room I read a quote from one of the woman who had since passed away from HIV/AIDS, a disease that has taken 5 women artists now from their collective and has devastated their villages. She spoke of beading throughout her illness, how it helped her get through her days, how she believed she was weaving her Self, her essence, her memory into her art, into the very fibers of the textile she was creating. Something of her to leave behind as she knew she would not survive and for a moment I felt her and all of the women. I saw their collective beauty reflected back in the shimmering light cast from the thousands upon thousands of tiny glass beads. I connected with their joys and sorrows in every flower, animal and bird.

At the conclusion of the main exhibit we were directed to go upstairs to see this final, massive piece entitled "The African Crucifixion" which is 15' high and took over one million beads, and a year to complete. Seven artists made the panels and cross that make up this work. I found that when you moved out from the piece different images came to life that you didn't see up close. Birds suddenly appeared in trees, the stars in the sky above twinkled and patterns came alive in the swirls of space.
It was magical, it was beautiful, it was alive with memories and it radiated love.

"The African Crucifixion."
Thank you for sharing your art, your lives and your dreams with us. You are all truly women inspirit.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Preparing for Transformation

     Before we set off upon a new journey, whether it be a physical one, a fresh course of study, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or even pursuing a new spiritual path we need to spend time preparing ourselves.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Moving with Focus into a New Existence

     Earlier this year I was inspired to create an art journal based upon the "Sufi Book of Life, 99 Pathways of the Heart" by Neil Douglas-Klotz. This is the next set of collages in that journey. These recent pages are concerned with the concentration and focus needed that leads to the movement of creating, with feeling the radiance of creativity working through us and finally to how we can work with this energy to design a new existence in our lives.
     Pathway 10 is entitled Concentration. Focusing in on what is important in my life right now helps me to see opportunities that I may be missing. I fortunately am good at finishing projects that I begin but I do realize that at times I take on too many projects at one time and at times projects that are merely distractions from what I should be working on; the all important lesson of learning boundaries and how to say no.

Pathway 10 Concentration.

      So this is about embodying focus and my mind immediately goes to nature and in particular gardens and flowers. We envision what we want to grow and we plan. A contained garden is a symbol of our own soul held within our bodies and at its center is our heart. Preparing this page I knew I  wanted to have a garden in the background with a lovely gate. So there is a very subtle water colored garden beyond. I found an image of this wrought iron scrolled gate in a magazine, it was an ad for a purse. Using an exacto knife I concentrated on the task of cutting it out which took a fair amount of time.  The peony and butterfly symbolize focused awareness, joy and transformation.  So this page reminds me to focus on what it is that brings me joy...yeah sometimes we forget, get off on a tangent, but that's okay because sometimes we need to explore other possibilities, gain a new perspective by stepping away.
     There are accompanying meditations with each pathway and in this one the author says to ask your self some questions as you focus upon your body and breath. I learned what wants to be expressed in my life next and how, if I listen to my body and intuition  it will not steer me wrong.

     The next pathway takes our envisioned inspiration and gets it moving, Carving and Forming, pathway 11.

Pathway 11 Carving and Forming.

     Now we are in preparation and planting stage. We are moving our passion into form. We till the soil, amend, and prepare the foundation for the seeds so that they will have the most perfect conditions in which to grow. There are no shortcuts, it takes dedication and awareness to details at this point. This is where we really get our hands dirty.
     In the background of this page you will see a geometric configuration and stars in different sizes and shapes, this represents the pieces of existence and of my life. The large arched jeweled bracelet symbolizes the art and skill of creating beauty. The hand covered in paint the creative action needed to carve out an inspired life and within the hand a magic wand to remind me of the mysteries and awe that I feel within the creative process. It is actually an image of a floor lamp!
     So we've envisioned and started working on our project, what's next? Radiating Creativity, pathway 12!
     The author writes, "Feeling the potential to create something completely new and different from nothing." So this is about the process, about the creation of movement. So naturally to me I think water, fluidity.

Pathway 12 radiating creativity.

     This process mirrors the idea that our expression is a reflection of the Divine but one that is not stationary, rather it is always moving like a breath. So to my mind when I create the movement it is as natural as swimming through water, like breathing.
So in my collage a woman swims outwards from a large oyster shell, coming out of her shell to express her light, her gifts which are precious pearls. There is freedom in her movement, she is liberated from her confines. "...being like a fountain, or a spring bubbling from deep within. When we dive into art it has the ability to transport and transform us. Is it any wonder that I just had to add glitter to this page because I so understand and resonate with this pathway!?
      Life is all about movement. What will you put in to motion today? What pearl of creativity wants to be brought up into the light of your expression? String them one by one around your neck and wear them near your heart because we all know that pearls must be worn close to the skin in order to bring out there full lustrous beauty.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

The Light of Support, Protection, Strength and Restoration- The Art Journal Journey Continues...

Pathway 6 Support.

     I am loving the process that is taking place within as I explore each pathway from "The Sufi Book of Life, 99 Pathways to the Heart" by Neil Douglas-Klotz, through art. As I have explained in two earlier posts I was inspired to take my exploration of this book and its teachings deeper through various mediums within an art journal. So here are the next 4 pages.

     Pathway 6- Support.  Something that my Mother instilled in me as a young child was her constant love and support and the importance of encouraging those around you. As a child I knew I was loved, that I was cherished, and that in turn gave me confidence and the feeling that I was safe. This image reminded me of her, she always had a halo of flour and bits of dough in her rings upon her hands. She guided me in life as she did in the kitchen when she taught me to cook. Her hands have always been a symbol of love to me because it was through her hands that she expressed that love, and in every thing she did. The quote is one that I came across that I felt my Mom would have agreed with whole heartedly; that it would have been "a deprivation to not be able to give one's gifts to those one loves most."

     This teaching is about trusting that the support of the Universe, of Unity, is always with you, faith. And it's funny because my Mom used to say that she always struggled with the concept of faith, yet she, to me, embodied that principle entirely.
     Through symbols I have included "amen" which this pathway translates as meaning, "We affirm that what we have just said will be the ground of our actions, the earth from which our new growth will spring." I love that definition which means more to me because it creates a living movement between the words of my heart to the actions that are a result of my intent. Sharing takes on a new level of holiness.

Pathway 7 Protection Blanket.

     Protection- Pathway 7, I immediately envisioned the Universe as a blanket so I created a collaged quilt out of blue and white papers, a color scheme that I especially love, to wrap around myself. I especially connected with the idea that we are both separate from yet a part of the greater whole. Everything comes from the Universe yet we must act our part, be the expression, create movement. We can't just hide under the blanket and hope for the best. We can wear the blanket about our shoulders for comfort and strength but we still have to do our part to care for ourselves and for others.

Strength of Form, Pathway 8.

     Strength of Form- Pathway 8 is about knowing that the strength that flows through the Universe, that is moving through your own being at this moment, is the same strength that moves in every living thing.

     I immediately envisioned this page earthy in color and texture so it is collaged in brown and rust tones, birch bark paper, stone and of course, center stage is an elephant with tusks and leathery skin, the epitome of wise and gentle strength. This is about matter, our physical form and that yes we will be scarred and bruised from our journey, our 'hide' may become thickened to feeling emotions because of it, but we must move and work with this energy to the best of our abilities. We can gather strength from the earth to help us create lives of purpose.

     Al Aziz translates to meaning "compressed life breath" which leads to strength but you must be aware that this can also lead to arrogance. So be mindful... your strength does not come from you but rather from the Universe around you.

Repair & Restoration- Pathway 9.
     This pathway, Repair and Restoration-Pathway 9, was especially meaningful for me in that I needed to focus upon healing my own heart which was broken from grief and loss. Symbolically I sewed and glued my own heart back together.

     This is a proactive pathway...meaning you need to heal thyself; do whatever it takes, gather your strength from the Universe, get creative and allow it to help you heal your self. For me art and writing, creating with my hands and being in nature have been instrumental in my own personal journey of healing. The green background symbolizes this healing energy; the pink grape paper of the heart stands for fruitfulness; the open wild roses for blossoming love; and the Bee for extracting the sweetness of life, for industry and my connection with the Divine Feminine. Love letters to myself can be found in the small envelope and tucked within my heart which I sewed together with green thread. To me this page hums with energy and hope.

Love letter to my Self. I am...

    In conclusion, Support, Protection, Strength and Restoration- all qualities that we have available to us and that we need to experience in our lives and ones that we need to embrace ourselves within our daily lives. They all ask us to embody movement. I like to think of this movement as Light- 'Support your light', 'Protect your light', 'Strengthen your light' and 'Restore your light' and in doing so you will then be able to 'Share your light.' In much love and light...

Thursday, June 15, 2017

More Pathways of My Heart- the Journey Continues

     The journey of exploring the 99 Pathways of the Heart from the Sufi Book of Life, through the expression of art, continues. I will be sharing four more art journal pages in this post.

     As I make my way through the book I find that I have the distinct feeling that I am not alone as I explore my spirituality through art. Sometimes I feel a real pull to start right in on a page and then at other times it seems that it takes days, sometimes even a week to fully prepare and all along the way I feel this presence leading me, sometimes pushing me forward. All of a sudden I know when it is time to sit down and create. Pieces seem to naturally come together.

     The Moon of Love, Pathway 2, asks you to look at how you receive love and compassion in your life. It is about creating a space within your self large enough to receive as much as you give. When I think about giving and receiving I realize that I am much more comfortable with giving than I am with the receiving and the levels of both need to be balanced in our lives, a continuous flowing stream of give and take. I especially loved the accompanying poem by Sufi Hafiz, which gave me the inspiration for the collage;
"The Sun is the wine, the moon is the cup. Pour the sun into the moon if you want to be filled..."
               The liquid movement you pour into your life fills you with ecstasy, joy, and compassion. How do you look at what you receive...are you thirsty for more or are you parched from lack? Is your heart overflowing, bottomless. It reminds us to reflect this love to help transform our world.

The I Can Power of the Cosmos, Pathway 3.
I felt like I was "diving into the depths" with this one, Pathway 3-The 'I Can Power of the Universe.' Hence my little diver preparing to jump in to the blue-green clear waters. This pathway invites you to just go for it, get your hands dirty. Be who you are, express yourself, create your life whole heartedly. Stop "playing it safe". Bloom. Be vibrant, alive, be awash in color, stand tall. Look at life with a different perspective, a unique eye.

I found this image of a model in a beautiful gown and cape with a light that made her look ethereal, ghost-like. I fell in love with the image. She is confident, radiating light. This pathway asks us to realize our own power and then take responsibility for it. We must go the distance, dive in and immerse ourselves in life if we are ever to realize our own full potential. I had fun working with watercolors on this one. The painting in the background I continued on the page with paint, letting it flow and grow, something that I am doing in my own life. Envision it. Yes, you can!

Sacred Space, Pathway 4.

     Sacred Space, Pathway 4, found me experiencing a flow of peace and serenity which I believe I caught in the feel of this page. It encourages us to step out of the flow of busyness in our lives. It asks us to look at what we take the time to create space for in our you make space for what brings you joy?

     I broke out the watercolors again and painted a peaceful and calm lake of blues and lavenders. At the bottom of the page is a rivers bank with stones to step out on to. In the center of the page is a round, focused landscape of a mountain with its reflection clear in the waters below, which to me symbolizes our connection to the Divine. This reminds me that I must have a clear vision of what I want to create in my life. I have always been searching for peace and truth. I must feel peace in my 'heart glass' and reflect that clearly outwards if peace is what I want to create in my life.

     What do I make room for in my life? I have many interests as I am curious and want to explore this life fully. So all of the things that I make a conscious effort to include are creativity, friends, family, my writing, collage, meditation, and my dear animals amongst other things. I will always have a flow of interests. There are also things that I know I need to bring more intention to, like more love and being fully mindful.  All of these things are blessings as they are sacred and need to be treated as such.
     "When dust clouds your heart glass how can the mirror clear? Remove the dust and rays reveal your real face."

Peace at the Beginning, Pathway 5.  

     Peace at the Beginning-Pathway 5. I wish this picture showed the depth of this page, the texture. It is the night sky and under the pastel colors of black, purple, green and blue there are embossed stars, stars upon stars. This was a meditation upon peace, what it looks like, feels like, how it is both changing and unchanging. This pathway reminds us that our ancestors looked up into the same night sky and believed the universe was very much like the "caravan of life". To look on the passing of time as a constant movement with the past before us up ahead and the future behind us. It gives one a different perspective into how we look at life and how we move. Does not our past lead us into our future and not always for the best? So it behooves us to look closely at what we are allowing to dictate our movements. If it is fear based we need to take a second look and clarify that what we are creating for our future is full of potential.

    This pathway reminds me too that at one time there was nothing but space so why do I waste time worrying about problems and petty difficulties? Life is a precious blessing, I am grateful. I am thankful for all of the people who have helped me throughout my life. Peace be with all of you...

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

An Inheritance of Thread

         Signe Widestrand, my Grandmother, age about 17.

      Women have always been the needle weavers, the creative 'adorners' with an eye for 'dressing up' even the simplest and most mundane of objects in order to make their homes, their clothes, and the lives of their families more beautiful. A needle or a loom, some colored threads or yarn and a bit of time and a room could be transformed from dull to extraordinary.

      My maternal grandmother Signe Widestrand Russell, 1898-1993, was quite a talented needle woman and weaver, amongst other things. I inherited her trunks full of hand made sheets and pillow cases, drapes, towels, clothes and table runners of varying shapes and sizes. As I pull the individual pieces from the trunks now I imagine her and her younger sisters all sitting together, heads bent to their intricate work, dreaming of their futures as they worked on the linens that would fill each of their own dowry trunks. My fingers lightly follow a line of tiny, fine stitches. I marvel at how the backs of cross stitched runners are as neat and tidy as the fronts. I wonder at the hours that were invested to create the geometric folk art designs on the rugs.

Cut work trim on a sheet.
      This is the decorative hem of one of Signe's sheets. In cut work and drawn thread work the linen is cut away and then the holes are bound or filled, or just the weft or warp threads are removed and the remaining threads bound into patterns. Her initials in Satin stitch are above. I have a set of her sister Margit's sheets as well.

Detail of embroidered blouse.
     The fine, light blouse, so delicate, blooms with flowers. Perfect for a warm Mid summer day.

Blouse with embroidered details.

     I didn't know of my grandmothers skill until I was in my teens. I discovered her treasure trove of handwork held within two trunks in her bedroom when we were moving her from Massachusetts to Southern California. My father's job with the Department of Defense was transferring us to San Diego.

     I remember pulling a long woven rug from one of the trunks and falling in love with the earthy tones and the geometric folk art pattern's. One rug after the other I unrolled, followed by an assortment of woven pillow covers. My exclamations brought my Grandmother into the room. She promptly rolled them all back up and stowed them away once again, her mouth a thin, straight line. These things were not to be used, nor touched. I could not understand then or now why anything so beautiful would not be shared. What was the point of making them if you didn't use or at least display them? Eventually I convinced her to at least hang a few of her weaving's on the walls and during the holidays the Yule runners finally saw the light of candles and twinkling lights, even if it was for a brief time once a year.
Signe and Lill-Sie, my Mother. 1936.

     Early on I was drawn to embroidery which was a wonder as my Mother, Lill-Sie, hated anything to do with a needle and/or sewing. She had memories of being forced to sit and sew in school and had no further desire or really any aptitude for it she admitted as she was too impatient. Somehow it was never mentioned that her mother was so adept until my find.

fragment of an embroidered runner.

     Signe used to go to museums and copy patterns. Some of the runners, now so very fragile and torn, were un-salvageable, so we saved at least blocks of designs which I hope to attach to other things. Later during the 1920's and the popularity of Egyptian designs she made a number of drapery panels embroidered with scarabs.


Cross stitch decorated handkerchief bags.
 Scandinavians used a lot of cross stitch patterns; garlands, deer, butterflies, crowns, and flowers. Runners, linen bags of all shapes and sizes to keep handkerchiefs, under wear and collars flat and tidy.

Cross Stitch floral pattern from a runner.

     Grandmother rugs and pillow covers with fringe, in earthy tones and traditional patterns.

Hand woven rugs and pillow covers.

     As for now I refold and roll and put the linens and rugs back in the trunks. I can't help but wish that my Grandmother had taken the time to pass on her knowledge and skills to me. It would have been perhaps a way for us to connect with each other on a different level as a crafts person teaches a student. And perhaps sitting together she would have reminisced about her sisters and her childhood, something she never talked about either, it was her memories and her family and she didn't want to share them either. She was the eldest of 10 children and the only one of her family to come to the United States in the 1920's. She lived in her adopted country longer than her homeland.

     Threads interwoven to create beauty and perhaps too they were the warps and wefts that kept her connected to home and family as she created a new life in a new land. Stitches in time, laid one by one, woven together with memories and now they grace my life but I will share them forward and celebrate my Grandmother's skill. Tack sa mycket. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Pathway to My Heart

     A wonderful book came into my life 2 years ago, "The Sufi Book of Life- 99 Pathways of the Heart for the Modern Dervish" by Neil Douglas-Klotz. Every day I have used the book in my eclectic spiritual practice believing that if you find a truth that resonates within you then you are supposed to use it in your life. So I thought to share the pages as I create them from time to time in small groups. I won't go into all of the details of each page but rather share highlights. They all contain my thoughts and personal journaling musings.

     Sufism is the mystical side of Islam and though I am not a religious person, I am quite spiritual and I find the pathways to be beautiful, wise and quite meaningful at this junction in my life. The pathways have brought me peace and comfort in my own personal journey through grief and many life changes. That being said earlier this year I had an inspiration...what if I started at the beginning and explored each pathway through art? So I decided to start a new journey in an art journal created just for my Self, my heart path's.

     To begin I needed of course to find a journal and I had a thought one day that there was an old scrapbook of my Grandmother's packed away in an old leather suitcase that was never used. I dug it out and it was a bit worn and tattered from being packed away for at least 60 years, but it was time it was used. I created a new collaged cover for it and appropriately enough "Explore" is across the top. Incorporating techniques from Soul Art I started this project with meditation, intent and body mapping. My hand, cut out from birch bark paper, holds a nest with a gold finch and three eggs. One of my very favorite poems about healing in the book is by Shabistari (Sufi poet and teacher) and says "...only here the bird of your breathe can nest and rest in the palm of the Beloveds hand...".

     The goldfinch symbolizes awakening to nature, deepening your perceptions, listening and communicating on all levels and energy and movement, all things very important to me. The dragonfly represents the power of light. The nest is a personal symbol of hope and the number three represents the soul, communication and joy. The iris is another long time symbol in my life and represents wisdom and passion and the happy- faced pansies, free thought.

     The first chapter of the book is called "Setting out on the Journey".   
This too I decided to explore with, "we begin by remembering, the sound and feeling
of the One Being, the well spring of love..."

     A butterfly emerging seemed apropos; transformation,
metamorphosis, joy.

Starting out on the journey...collage/watercolor

     A peaceful watercolor scene, a branch with a peacock
symbolizing watchfulness and vision, the ivy for growth and resurrection, and a symbol of the Divine Feminine, always included in my art.

     "Every being is born for a certain purpose and the light of that purpose is kindled in its soul." Saadi

 The Yes and No of Existence, Pathway 0.    
                                                                              The Yes and No of Existence, Pathway 0 and the
                                              "waves broke, awareness rose again..." This pathway is about knowing
                                                yourself and finding the balance between your light and shadow,
                                                emotions and intellect, it's about letting go, immersing yourself in
                                               "unity's ocean." We are alone but we are also a part of creation and thus
                                                never alone.

The Sun of Love, Pathway 1
     Pathway 1 The Sun of Love

     Again I used body mapping, using my heart, since this pathway explores compassion, radiating love. From behind the heart, rays of sun shine forth and from the center a sun
rises. Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion looks on and a
quote by Wesley reminds us to "Do All the Good You Can..." A yellow peony, beauty, completes the page.

     At times in our lives we must let go of who we think we
are in order to feel more deeply, in order to let our own light shine, so that we can move on to a new expression of our selves and our experience. We put limitations upon ourselves when we hold on to out dated images of ourselves. We must extend a hand of compassion to our own spirit before we can extend it outward to others.

"Knower and known are one..."

I encourage you to explore your spirituality through art, it will add a whole new level of understanding for you. Explore!

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Essence of Time

      Time has been on my mind this week. Not in the sense of not having enough of it nor of being aware of even its passing but rather as a subject that keeps coming up in conversations and when a reoccurring theme keeps persistently poking at my attention I take it as a hint and listen.

       In a recent conversation I was told by a friend that she felt our spiritual community did not have the time for the depth of connection that I was looking for (hmmm, this gave me pause for thought.) Another conversation with a complete stranger, a harassed phlebotomist in a lab who, spurred on by an impatient person before me who stomped out, went on to consider people and their concept of taking too much of their time. This led to her considering how fast time was fleeting in her own life. She concluded her review with the intention to take three whole days off for her wedding anniversary to celebrate with her husband. Maybe they would even take a weekend trip to Amish country to buy her husbands favorite cheese she stated. Again and again the theme of time played on as I often would overhear snatches of time related comments, read about time in articles, social media, and in the messages of emails. Time is on every one's minds these days it seems.

    What is time and what is our perception of time? The definition of time is the "indefinite continued progress of existence", the measurement of a sequence of events. Before mechanical clocks time was measured by sand, wind, candles and shadows.


     Twenty four hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, 60 seconds in a minute. Our existing time keeping methods date back to the Sumerians in 2000BC and is called a sexagesimal numeral system 
with a base of 60. It is also defined as the "duration regarded as belonging to the present life as distinct from the life to come or from eternity, finite duration." To say we are watching the "progress of our existence" seems to give it more respect, more weight to our measure of it.

      Even in our language we use words to describe our relationship with time, all of which have an edge of movement to can be "behind the times" or "ahead of your time"; in a "race against time", or perhaps even "arrive in the nick of time"; We look forward to the "times of our lives" or "have too much time on our hands" and occasionally we all need a "time out." We are directed to "bide our time" in case we "have a devil of a time" but then again it is "only a matter of time." "Time will tell," "all in good time". Grab life when the "time is ripe" and someday you may even "hit the big time." Will your love "stand the test of time" and "oh, how time flies." "Time heals all wounds" we are told yet too, "time is of the essence" and if you are in doubt "the third time is the charm." But of course "you have all the time in the world."  Statements about time can be used as judgments accusing others of "wasting time". But who is to say what is a waste of time to another?

      Nearly everyone seems to define their lives now in relation to their "busyness" level. The definition of the word busy is " to be actively and attentively engaged in work or a past time." The key word I believe here is "attentively". Are we busy, truly mindfully, of what we are doing or are we just living from one reaction to another?

Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory with the famous melting clocks. 

      A truly generous and caring friend gave me the gift of "time to breathe" (her words) four years ago. Deep in grief, reeling from life changing events, with a profound sense of loss of my own identity, physically and emotionally exhausted and having experienced my own 'dark night of the soul' I came here to gain a different perspective, to exhale. Sometimes we just need to come to a full stop.

     In the Sufi Book of Life there are 99 pathways to Unity and one in particular is called "Returning to Rhythm". It calls for one to stop and let go so that the heart can return to its natural rhythm. When the dust settles we can see more clearly and we are better able to make decisions about the next steps to take. Coming to a full stop I was able to reassess my life and the direction it was going in at the time.  I gradually came to understand that I had taken a detour, had actually been going in the opposite direction of my own nature. Finally able to hear the whispers of my own heart I charted a new path and began to heal. Swept up in years of busyness I had allowed the ego voice of fear to dictate my actions. Standing in the center of my own being in silence reawakened parts of myself that had been stifled and closed off. The light of focus and concentration gave them strength to reemerge. 

" The Human Being is not in control of his feelings, but he is in control of his movements."-Jilani

                       "What your heart can hold, the body can accomplish."-Jilani

     Concentrating on what is important to you in your life opens you to experiences that will help you to express your passions and share your unique light. Yes, you may still have to do the grocery shopping, cook dinner and take out the trash but it's about finding balance and when you are in the flow of expressing your bliss everything you do is charged with the light of happiness. Being focused helps you to make each step count. How you begin, carry through and complete your expression is a teaching about your own inner strength. When you can feel the potential of your own creativity you will radiate with confidence. You will no longer be just busy, you will be fully engaged in your own growth.

    "It means developing the energy of the heart, which is planted with interest, sprouts with affection and then  blossoms into something for which the word love is only a shadow." Neil Douglas-Klotz

           If I hadn't stepped off the treadmill of my old life I may not have found the trail that led me back to my passions and the dreams that I had buried deeply within my heart. Once I embraced my new sense of right timing I reconnected to my own natural rhythm and I now breathe with a renewed sense of purpose. When I think of the past four plus years now I am reminded of the Charles Dickens quote from his novel "A Tale of Two Cities"..."It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..." for as we grow we need both the shadow and the light . We need the essence of both in order to become whole, in order to breathe. In order to find and pursue our purpose we must be willing to stand in our center and let time pass us by.  Let your minutes and hours be ones filled with genuine connection. May the time you have be just enough time...